Feeling Mighty Tiny

I have decided that if I ever get to feeling too big for my britches, I should just go stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon.  It is impossible to explain to someone who has never seen it, just how big it is.  Carved out by a mighty river thousands of years ago it is a wonder to behold.  I first experienced it as a 12 year old girl.  I don't think at that age I truly appreciated it but I do know that I never forgot it.  Quiet simply, it is unforgettable.

Last week Gary and I had the pleasure of taking Lauren, Lindsay and Emily to see it.  Gary had never seen it either so it was an exciting experience for him as well.  We drove from the 100 plus degree heat of the airport in Phoenix up to Flagstaff, Arizona to spend the night.  It was pleasantly cooler there among the pines and the thunderstorms were refreshing.  The lobby of the hotel the next morning was full of bikers and hikers.  Everyone was dressed up in their trekking gear and ready to explore the beauty of this unique area.  We set out for the South Rim of the canyon in our Crown Victoria
 rent a car that we dubbed the "family truckster" in honor of the movie "Vacation".  

Emily, Donna, Lauren, Lindsay, Gary at the Grand Canyon

We decided as we neared the canyon that we would go all out and take a helicopter ride so that we could really experience the vastness of it all.  After reserving a spot we drove on up to the canyon first, and in true "Chevy Chase" style and staying true to the movie, we walked down to the edge, shot a few pictures, stared in awe and then headed back to the car, uh I mean truckster.  Unfortunately we had been greeted by some menacing bugs. Around here we call them noseeums.  (no-see-um)  If you have never experienced the unpleasant sting of hundreds of invisible bugs all over your body, you can't fully appreciate our desire to hurry and escape the little devils.  We piled back into the car and hurried off to catch our chopper.

The helicopter ride was incredible.  The girls had never been up in one before and Lauren was a bit apprehensive before we took off.  I think she was mostly worried about crashing 3 weeks before her wedding day.  Thankfully her worries were unfounded and she will still be able to wear that beautiful white wedding dress.  As we boarded and put on our earphones, we were greeted by the voice of Frank Sinatra singing "Come Fly with Me".  It took about 5 minutes to get to the edge of the canyon and the rush as we burst over the edge and the earth seemed to fall away was thrilling.   Emily road shotgun to the pilot while the rest of us were in the back.  Through the headsets we were given a narration about the Grand Canyon and some if its history.   As we flew over some brave river rafters that looked like yellow ants on a chocolate ribbon I couldn't help but wonder what it must have been like to live there as an indian.  It's a rugged terrain and life must have been very hard for them. The flight was too short but I'd do it again in a heartbeat.  If you every get the chance to experience the Grand Canyon from a helicopter, I highly recommend it.

As you can see from the pictures below, in the GRAND scheme of things we are very small.  The canyon was a good reminder to me of that fact but I don't really have to go all the way to the Grand Canyon to feel tiny.  I can simply step outside any night and gaze up into the big ole West Texas sky and marvel at how REALLY tiny I am in the universe.  Big or small, God made it all.  What a joy it is to be even a small part of it.

Hard to imaging that this goes on for nearly 300 miles.  It was a bit hazy this morning. 

From the top of the rim the river looks even smaller.  We were down in the canyon a little ways and I was using a zoom lens which makes this photo a bit deceptive.  It is over a mile deep and 277 miles long.  On average it is 10 miles across and 18 miles across at its widest point.

The Grand Canyon is one of the seven natural wonders of the world and the only one of the seven that I have seen personally.  How many have you seen, what were they and would you recommend seeing them?   

Coming Fast and Passing Slow

Life sometimes takes us by storm.  It blows in on us like the West Texas sandstorm that barraged us this week with 60 mph winds that ripped off roofs, downed lines and trees and covered highways and houses (yes houses) with blowing tumbleweeds.  It often leaves behind a mess to deal with just like my garage that was full of leaves that blew in and sand that made its way into every window and door of our home.  I swept up the leaves, vacuumed up the dirt and washed the car.  While the dust is still settling from that storm I know that as we enter the month of March, there is a promise of more wind on the horizon.  Very soon I will need to once again, sweep up the leaves, wash the car and vacuum up the dust and dirt.  It's just what we do around here this time of year.  What takes nature minutes to do, takes us days to clean up.  I find that life is a lot like that lately.  It comes too fast and it passes too slow.

"Mom, I'm pregnant."  In the time it took to Melanie to breathe those words out, life as I knew it changed.  My thoughts raced ahead as I chased after them futilely trying to just be in the moment.  Sometimes the words "do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself", totally escape my mind.  I start trying to solve all the problems before they even take form.  The information of new life on the way came at me fast but the 9 months it actually takes that life to arrive is SO slow.

"May I marry your daughter?"  That one question took Thomas mere seconds to ask but once again life as I knew it has changed.  Thomas and Lauren will be marrying in what we consider a relatively short amount of time to plan a wedding.  After the proposal we shifted into an unknown gear that I'm sure is only available on the space shuttle.  Securing the church, the reception venue, and the date became an urgent task.  The dress is ordered and as it turns out in the nick of time.  We've viewed wedding invitations and discussed music.  We've worked on menus, talked to photographers and discussed  flowers and decorations.  It's an exciting time but I know that once the initial flurry slows it will pass slow as we wait for the day.

Dad has cancer.  Oh no!  Not the "C" word again.  Our lives were rocked 14 years ago with my diagnosis.  Hearing those words sort of makes everything shift into slow motion.  If you've ever walked that path you know exactly what I mean.  You wait for the diagnosis, you wait for the next appointment, you wait for the next test, you wait for surgery, you wait for the sickness to subside, you wait to feel better, you wait, and wait and wait.  Your life changes in an instant.  Gary's dad's news came at us fast but the treatment and recovery will pass slow for us all.

Yes, life comes at us fast.  Sometimes it brings joy and excitement and sometimes it brings anxiety and fear of the unknown.  I am thankful that I walk by faith and not by sight.  I am thankful that God goes before us and will never leave us nor forsake us.  I am thankful for a God who sees me and loves me and will tend to my every need.  I'm thankful that I have the courage to face tomorrow because my savior lives!  Let the storm howl and the dust choke out the sunlight.  Let the moments that change my life flash with the speed of lightening and rage with untold fury.  Let each day tick by slowly as I seek His will and sweep away the doubt and fear.  Come at me fast and pass slow.  With dust pan in hand, I'm standing on the ROCK!

I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  

                                                                                                                               Psalm 16:8

My inspiration and loves!

Lauren Elizabeth, Crystal, Lindsay, Emily, Melanie, Lauren Beth

The Battle Within

I'm far from a poet but I wrote this the other day and I'm following up my post from earlier in the week with it.  So for all you literary types or English professionals you will have to overlook any rhythm missteps.  I just write it down as it comes to me and it isn't always pretty!  My senior English teacher, Miss Morgan would roll over if she saw some of the stuff I've posted.  So apologies to her.  She did try her best to educate me.

The battle is raging though my eyes cannot see
My mind keeps on screaming, "Let me be free!"
Flee from my memory and remind me no more
Stop standing and waiting crouched at my door


Long ago demons I thought were at rest
The struggle is frequent and unrelenting at best
They stir up my memories and mess with my mind
They spin me in circles and leave my eyes blind


Like a heavy black fog they creep into my dreams
Though I try to call out they silence my screams
They lurk in the scents and the tunes of my past
They cling and they claw with a grip that's so vast


So once again in full armor I struggle to stand
I draw out my sword and with bible in hand
I face down my enemy and retreat no more
I press ever forward and shout from my door


"That is not who I am or forever will be.
That is simply the old and the worst part of me!
God Cleansed me and gave me a robe of pure white.
His grace gives me freedom to fight the good fight."

Conjuring Up Fear

I wish that as a child I had understood that God was always with me.  I was told that God was everywhere but all that meant to me was that he knew if I was being bad because he could see me no matter where I was or what I was doing.  Got to love that guilt placed on me and countless other children in catechism classes.  My big confession each week before communion was that I fought with my sister.  The priest finally got so tired of hearing the same thing week after week that he told my parents my sister and I could skip confessing that one so that other people could have a turn.  Seems the penance for that infraction was to spend some time on your knees in a corner.  I'm not so sure my time counted though since I vaguely remember the whole time I was on my knees I was praying for my sister to be nicer!

When I was little I was terrified of the dark.  I was afraid of vampires long before they were cool and werewolves before they had six pack abs.   I was afraid of ghosts, devils, dogs that barked at me, whatever might be under the bed waiting to attack me and the mean old lady that sat on her porch between me and my friend's house down the street.  I hated to be alone.  It was of no comfort to me that God was everywhere.  My experiences with fear helped me to be much more understanding when our girls faced childhood fears of their own.

When Melanie was little she was always afraid to go anywhere by herself.  She never wanted to ask the lady at the cash register for change or make a trip to the bathroom by herself.  Thankfully Melanie had her cousin Ellen, who was a bit more bold, to go most everywhere with her all the way into adulthood.  Her sisters got a little tired of her overactive imagination but Ellen was her rock and let her stand in her shadow all the way to countless bathrooms and to face down the scary people waiting to take her order at the ice cream counter.  Melanie is a bit more bold today but definitely not an extrovert.

Now Lindsay was another story.  Lindsay is the middle child of the second set of three girls.  Lindsay was afraid to go to bed and her prayer each night for years was, "God bless everyone in the whole world except bad men and the devil. Amen."  She use to build a pillow and stuffed animal wall all around herself each night with precision.  I called it her fortress.  She would sleep snuggly in her little cushy cocoon while whoever slept with her complained that all her animals were taking up the whole bed.  The night light never seemed to be enough and she always wanted another light on.  This was also met with sibling complaints of having to sleep in the daylight.  I think that sometimes nights seemed eternal for Lindsay.  She was always the last to go to sleep and I truly did feel her pain.  Today she is still the last one to go to sleep.  Some habits are hard to break!

Today I try to deal with my fear in a more proactive way instead of cowering under the covers.  A popular Christian song has a phrase in it taken from Romans 8:31, "And if our God is for us, nothing can ever stop us and if our God is with us, nothing can stand against".  I love that line of the song.  What a powerful truth and freedom is in those few words.  Not even the worst fears we can conjure up can stand against God and that is comforting for me since I can conjure up some pretty scary stuff.  I've grown to realize that most of the battle is in my mind so it is important for me to fill my mind with the truth of God's word so that I can draw that double edged sword of His word whenever the need arises.

Here is a little something to sharpen your sword...
"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you;  he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid;  Do not be discouraged."  Deuteronomy 31:8

WELCOME TO MY BLOG

I read somewhere once that "Courage is fear that has said it's prayers.". I liked that thought and I wrote it on a paper and stuck it in my bible. It's still there along with a few other things I liked the sound of. Now I realize that is not the official definition of courage, but I find that I have a little more of it when I pray about something that I'm afraid of.

My way of dealing with fear when I was a little girl was to worry. I thought that if I could come up with the worst scenario in my mind and worry about it then it couldn't come true. For instance, I was always afraid that my mom would have a wreck and be taken from me. I would sit and worry about it until she pulled into the driveway. I convinced myself that by thinking something so horrible it would keep it from becoming a reality. Yeah, I know, that is just messed up. I suppose I worried enough as a youngster though because she is still alive and 82 years old now.

I deal with fear much more constructively now. When I have a fear I pray about it and just leave it with God. It did take a great deal of practice and many failed attempts but I'm really good at it now.

I have 6 girls. Three daughters and three stepdaughters. Hence the title of my blog,

"With 6 You Get Courage". You simply can't have six girls in your life and not have courage.

Any mother will tell you it takes courage just to give birth, courage when they are sick and courage that first day you send them to school. When they become teenage girls there is always some sort of drama. They are either on the top of the world or in the pits of hell. It takes courage some days just to wake them up! As they become young women courage takes on a whole new meaning.

So with many adventures in courage waiting in the wings I'm hoping you'll join me for this courageous adventure in blogging. With 6 you get courage and lots of fun!